Posted on April 29, 2019
Last Edited on April 30, 2019
3 mins read
Tags: writing life

{ Picture: Captured by Me(Paradox) at Dead Sea, Jordan, 2019 }

After watching Avengers: Endgame.

That’s all I have to say about this movie. A decade worth of story-telling that connected the dots and gave “respectful” ending. The one I like. Happy-Sad type of ending is always the best. Because you know nothing is perfect. All the fairy tales we have been told since our long-standing memories from childhood to this moment we are living — they were all attempting to elude us thinking about how happy any life is. Not that I am a sadist, but think about it. Life is “happy-sad”. And just like that, this movie left me with this feeling. Like waking up from a transcendental state. I know the feeling is similar. You felt it last time you watched Infinity War. But that was a year ago and now look at this. Your decade-long superhero characters in the MCU have been paid respectful demise. I am glad they are gone now. Partly because life should go on. And partly because… Well… Give me a break. These type of movies give hope to the demise of never-ending miseries we feel in our lives. But that’s not it. Our lives are not some type of comic-book universe where you snap fingers and everything will be alright! Come on! It’s the real life here and there, lurking around everywhere!

After exiting the cinema hall, I had this void. I was thoughtless. I wonder if I had thoughts. But surely, I walked from the hall to my house thinking about the circumstances that led me to watch this movie. Walking has never been a big deal. But it might be for you because walking straight for more than an hour, in this polluted city under the scorching sun is pretty daunting. Especially when you are thinking about your life, just phasing out into an unknown world. For the fact that I went alone to watch this movie isn’t a new story in town. There are people like me without any friends to talk to — about life, love, mathematics, quantum physics, astronomy, aliens and above all about this void. And it is always a safe bait to mind your own business. Just believe in yourself. That will be pretty much a tempting task for you. But once you are used to yourself, you will do fine. Even watching late night movies and walking alone back home. Enjoying good sips of caffeine. Those beans with spices. And listening to Pink Floyd while getting drunk from a bottle of beer, all alone! That is pretty tempting, but not impossible. :)

You are in fact a mysterious combination of space dust. Nobody really gets you. But it’s a task worth executing; to understand you — the demon inside you, trying to resonate its mind with yours.

I think I am going off topic again! Hell yeah!

A few moments back, I watched a new video from exurb1a, one of my favourite YouTube channels. Given the title “You will Never Do Anything Remarkable”, it didn’t take me by surprise. I am an ordinary guy in mid-20s (I guess) and I often go through some type of existential crisis. That’s inevitable. I am Inevitable. It’s good to see how these topics are raised in this modern era of digital utopia (maybe dystopia?) where anything is accessible at a few clicks, more than they ever were. Short attention spans. Impulsive arguments over some threads. Letting your ego take over and explode your mind. I guess it’s interesting enough to actually be an observer. Grab popcorn. Or some noodles. Watch out for threads explode exponentially. People are educated. But only a few are knowledgeable. That is what I have learned these past few years after graduating from my college. Staring at the emptiness, a white canvas, I am pouring out my thoughts on what hammered me on the way back home today.

I guess I am inevitable. We all are, right?